Hilarious cat stories

A Siamese cat with his tongue out. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.

What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark! How many cats can you put into an empty box? After that, the box isn’t empty.

How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up. What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? A cat confused as his human works out on a yoga mat.

How Much Should I Feed My Cat? A fluffy white cat eating wet food off of a dish or bowl. Get Catster in Your Inbox! Get tips and exclusive deals. The funniest anecdotes from Nerve’s popular Talking to Strangers column. Rob, 25, New York Do you have any favorite hook-up stories?

I was the mascot for Wagner College, I was a sea-hawk, and I fucked one of the dance girls on the fifty-yard line. Well, I had the head. Do you have any favorite hook-up stories? But I took it off after a minute because I couldn’t breathe. It was the middle of the night, I was a freshman, and it kind of just happened that way. She was like, let’s go to the football field. And I’m like, I’m the mascot.

And she was like, this is weird. She must’ve been really impressed by that. Needless to say, I don’t really talk to that girl. It was a friend of mine, we’d been friends since high school when he used to date my best friend. Years went by, long story short, we got really drunk and ended up fooling around in the bathroom, to the point where we broke the toilet. We smashed the toilet into about 50,000 pieces.

We were on top of the toilet, doing our thing, and the fucking toilet literally exploded. I have the pictures on my Facebook. It leaked blue shit all down the stairs to my roommate’s room. The next day I had to go to Home Depot and buy a toilet. Thank God my other friend is a plumber. He and I are still friends. It was a stupid, drunken thing. I feel like it would be hard to break a toilet if you were sober. But it was completely normal at the time. The funny part is, because we were all shit-bombed, we woke up the next morning and I go down stairs to use the bathroom and I was like, «Oh my God! We all just started dying. Everybody woke up and we went into the bathroom and there was fucking water all over the place. It had leaked downstairs into the basement. So, where do you work? Do you get a lot of dates through that?

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